In this interview, we speak to Sukesy, a Singaporean homeschooling mother of five, who finds immense joy in teaching and learning alongside her children. As both a parent and educator, she thrives on the freedom to design lessons that cater to each child’s unique needs. “Teaching and learning is not just my job—it’s my hobby too,” she shares. With a thoughtful approach to nurturing each child’s individuality, including her daughter with autism, she reflects on the dynamic experience of homeschooling and parenting a large family.
Could you please introduce yourself and your family to our readers?
I’m a mother of four sons and a daughter, and we’re a homeschooling family based in Singapore. My three eldest boys were homeschooled from preschool until the end of secondary school, entering the mainstream education system (sixth form college and polytechnic) after their Singapore-Cambridge GCE O-level exams. At present, I’m homeschooling my 15-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter. Her homeschooling journey has only just begun after she completed her PSLEs at Pathlight School, which is a school for children with autism.
Have you always wanted a large family? How do you and your husband approach co-parenting with a big family?
Yes, I think deep down I always wanted a large family, though it was surprisingly something I didn’t discuss with my husband. He comes from a big family (he has seven older siblings), so he was comfortable with the idea of our family growing. I didn’t have a specific number of children in mind and decided early on to accept what God gave us and take things as they came.
My husband is the main breadwinner, while I’ve stayed at home to raise and teach the children. I handle most of the parenting and make the majority of decisions regarding the children and daily routines, while my husband manages the finances and administration. Our roles do overlap, though; I also teach private classes and provide tuition outside of homeschooling and running the home, and he takes on household chores when he’s home, particularly the ones I’m not so keen on, like folding laundry!
Describe your family in one short sentence (less than 10 words!)
Growing independently while staying grounded and connected.
Establishing family traditions can be enriching. What are some special traditions or rituals your large family enjoys together?
Hmm… I’m not sure if we really have any set traditions! One thing we do regularly is perform our daily prayers together, whether we’re at home or out as a family. We also visit the grandparents on weekends and occasionally go out for a family dinner. With the children getting older and leading more independent lives, these small things feel very precious.
We understand that you’ve homeschooled many, if not all, of your children. Could you share why you chose to homeschool them and how the journey has been?
Our reasons for homeschooling have evolved over time, but one of the main motivations initially was that I didn’t want my children attending mainstream schools in Singapore. The heavy focus on exams, conformity, streaming, and academic pressure at the primary and secondary levels were things I hoped to avoid by educating them at home. Many aspects of homeschooling continued to appeal to us once we started. I enjoyed spending time with my children throughout the week, the flexibility to structure our days around our own priorities rather than a school calendar, and the freedom to explore subjects that mainstream schools might not cover. We also felt we could better manage the stress of the PSLE by homeschooling.
Looking back over nearly 20 years, homeschooling has been entirely worth it. There were certainly hard times and moments of doubt, but I’m glad my children had the chance to experience life outside of the school system during their formative years.
You also conduct science and maths lessons for homeschoolers in Singapore. How did this idea come about, and what has the experience been like?
I began tutoring as a university student and have never really stopped. When the children were young, I tutored on weekends or in the evenings when my husband was home. It was a way to earn a little extra and have some time away from home, which was very important for a young mother with five children!
When my children reached secondary school, I found that teaching them in groups with their peers was both enjoyable and beneficial. Group learning offered them a chance to engage socially and learn collaboratively. Over time, I began teaching classes for other homeschoolers as well, and it eventually grew into a mix of classes for both my children’s peers and the broader homeschooling community.
Homeschooling five children, including one with autism, is undoubtedly a unique challenge, particularly in Singapore. How do you balance homeschooling with parenting responsibilities, especially considering your daughter’s specific needs?
For us, there isn’t a strict divide between homeschooling and parenting.
Being with the children throughout the day means that learning happens all the time, whether through structured lessons or daily interactions.
Our routines adjust to the family’s changing needs; for example, when a new baby joins the family, many regular activities are paused. I sometimes joke that each new baby means a year missed from school, which isn’t entirely untrue! We try to find workarounds and adapt as needed.
When my daughter was five, it became challenging to homeschool the boys while managing her special needs, so we enrolled her in an early intervention programme for a few hours a day. The structure and predictability of school suited her, so we continued her education at Pathlight School. Now that she’s older, homeschooling seems more favourable as it allows her to pursue her interests beyond what mainstream schools offer.
Balancing the demands of homeschooling, parenting, and other responsibilities can be overwhelming. How do you cope – any tips to share?
Coping strategies often depend on each family’s unique values, abilities, personalities, and support systems. Looking back, especially on the challenging periods during my daughter’s autism journey and when the children were younger, these key approaches helped me:
- Be honest about your expectations and capabilities.
- Build a community of like-minded friends and families.
- Make time for yourself or activities outside of family life.
- Don’t neglect your marriage.
With five children, including one with autism, managing daily routines is intricate. Could you share insights into organising daily activities to keep a smooth, harmonious household?
Our children have daily chores, which help keep the house in order, though there’s always more to do – chores never really end! I’ve learnt to accept that if I’m homeschooling, my home may never be perfectly tidy or organised. The challenge is to prioritise and manage expectations.
For example, if cooking for my children is more important to me than a tidy home, I’ll live with some mess. If I manage to cook and clean the home, but don’t get any school work done with the children, is that ok for me? Some days it is, somedays it’s not.
What have been some highlights of your parenting journey so far?
Watching my children grow and mature, even in small ways, has been a privilege, especially as we spend so much time together through homeschooling. As a teacher, I’m grateful for the opportunity to educate my children during such a significant part of their academic lives. This journey has taught me as much as it has them.
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Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, Sukesy. Your commitment to homeschooling and nurturing each of your children's unique qualities is truly inspiring. Wishing you and your family continued growth, happiness, and discovery in your homeschooling adventure!
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