Welcome to our latest Spotlight article. Today we have with us Mayvina, a seasoned lactation counsellor and cheerful mother of four. Join us as we delve into her experience breastfeeding four children as well as the joys and challenges of raising a large family in Singapore.
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Hello Mayvina! Could you please give us a brief introduction about yourself?
I am a full-time working mom in the pharmaceutical sales industry in Singapore. I have four children ranging in age from 9 months old to 9 years old.
Since 2019, I have volunteered as a lactation counsellor with Breastfeeding Mothers' Support Group (BMSG), and I am currently pursuing my International Board Certified Lactation Consultant® (IBCLC®) qualifications to become a board-certified lactation consultant. I am passionate about supporting and educating breastfeeding moms.
I believe that with the right knowledge and mindset, mothers can feel empowered to make informed choices in their breastfeeding journey, making it a fulfilling experience.
Can you share a bit about your breastfeeding journey with all four of your kids? Why did you choose to breastfeed your children?
I breastfed my first child until slightly over 1 year old, and I weaned him because we wanted to try for another child. For my second and third children, I breastfed them all the way until slightly beyond 2 years old, and I am still breastfeeding my youngest.
With my first child, I chose to breastfeed because it seemed like the 'right' thing to do, and I wanted to provide the best nutrition for my baby. As I progressed in the journey and overcame the challenges, especially during the first two months with my eldest, I began to truly enjoy it. I cherished the bonding experience, the sense of achievement in providing for my child, and the convenience of breastfeeding—such as direct latching compared to bottle feeding (less barang!) when out and about. I also appreciated being able to simply latch my baby to sleep rather than having to walk around the room and pat them for thirty minutes to help them fall asleep.
Did your workplace provide support for breastfeeding, and if so, how did that help you?
During my breastfeeding years, I was blessed with two different work environments in Singapore that were breastfeeding friendly. My direct bosses were understanding and gave me the space and time I needed to pump. Being able to express regularly helped with maintaining my supply and definitely helped me tremendously in continuing the breastfeeding journey. With my girl (#3), the COVID Work-From-Home (WFH) period definitely helped in sustaining the breastfeeding journey as well. I was fully latching on demand and hardly had to pump. I loved that period!
Were there any challenges you faced in balancing work demands and breastfeeding?
The main challenge was timing! I had to plan my pumping sessions around meetings. I also had to coordinate with caregivers at home on what time I was coming back so that they would know whether to bottle feed or to wait for me to reach home so that I could latch directly and not pump. Pumping takes up at least another twenty minutes and this pocket of time is precious when you have multiple kids to take care of!
Another challenge was setting aside enough time to prepare before leaving for work. Sometimes I had to pump before leaving the house, if the baby did not nurse, adding about thirty minutes to preparation time.
How has breastfeeding strengthened your bond with each child individually?
I feel that breastfeeding has created a special bond between myself and the children, and this helped them to be emotionally secure. All of them take to transitions such as starting childcare, formal education or other life transitions very well and I think this is attributed to them feeling emotionally secure and hence adapt well to new things and changes. I think a large part is because of breastfeeding which allows me to be attuned to their needs during the infancy and toddler phases and ensuring their emotional needs are being met.
Can you share any special moments you've had while breastfeeding?
I especially love those moments when I look at them while they are latching, and they give me the sweetest smile through the latch. I feel as though it is their way of thanking me and showing me that they love me too.
What were the biggest challenges you faced while breastfeeding all four kids?
I think overall, the greatest challenge is how to attend to the needs of the other children when the baby needs to feed and I am not able to physically attend to the others. In terms of individual breastfeeding journeys, each one has their own challenges and my experience is pretty much different for every single one of them.
The biggest challenge that I faced was the start of my breastfeeding journey with my firstborn. He was admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) after delivery, and I was not able to start off with skin-to-skin contact and the first feed during the golden hour. It got me really worried and I felt totally unprepared for the situation. I also did not receive any guidance on how to handle breastfeeding when we were separated at birth. By the time he came to me, he was too impatient to latch on and was always crying so badly. In my efforts to increase my breast milk supply, I pumped and latched endlessly because I thought I had to do both. In no time I was exhausted and depressed.
I remember during that period, whenever I finished pumping, it was almost time for him to latch. Furthermore, his latching took really long and felt like forever because I was not producing enough milk for him.
During the first three months of initiating breastfeeding, I saw 3 lactation consultants. I also relied on Google the most in my life reading about breastfeeding and every issue I faced. When my baby was three months old, I found out that he had a slight tongue tie which made his latches so painful. However we ended up not correcting it as he was able to latch by then.
This experience was actually what inspired me to be a breastfeeding counsellor because I realised how important it is for new breastfeeding mums to have a support network. I truly believe that new mums should be empowered with the right knowledge during their pregnancy, before they start their breastfeeding journey.
On the positive side, what are the most rewarding aspects of breastfeeding for you?
The most rewarding aspect to me is being able to provide what I believe is the best. The more I learn about the wonders of breastmilk and breastfeeding during my lactation education for my IBCLC exam, the more I am convinced that I have provided the best for them, not only nutritionally, but also emotionally.
Breastfeeding aside, how are you as a mum to your four children? Any particular philosophy, rules or ideas you follow?
I think I am a pretty chill mum! I believe that it is more important to build their character and cultivate virtues in them rather than place emphasis on academics. I try to inculcate a sense of responsibility and allow them to be independent as much as possible.
Our family rules are no lying and no secrets.
How has being a mom changed for you with each new child?
The restrictions and benchmarks start to lower with each child. I realised I have to change my parenting style for each child and the challenge comes in when it seems like I am treating them unfairly, but it is really what each child needs at that point in time.
It must be tough juggling parenting and work. What’s the hardest part of being a working mom with four kids?
Hardest - limited time, for sure!
I often feel guilty that I am not able to be 100% available to them.
I wish to spend exclusive one-on-one time with them but it proves to be quite tough. At times, everyone seems to want my attention at the same time. I end up feeling frustrated, especially when I am also in need of quiet time. I notice that when I am not able to give, I start to get angsty and edgy.
I believe every parent feels that way – about seemingly never having sufficient time to spend with their children. What do you enjoy most about being a parent?
I really enjoy their sweet expressions of “I love you, Mummy.” and “You're the best!”. I think it is rewarding when you witness them hitting different milestones in their lives.
Being a mum of 4 is also like having many little minions. Right now, the older ones are able to help with tasks such as watching or playing with the baby while I brush my teeth or do my nightly routine.
We are Catholics so we take turns leading our bedtime prayers. It is always very humbling to hear what the little ones want to pray about. It also gives us an insight into what is on their minds. At bedtime, they tend to be more vulnerable and share a lot more deeply about their day and their thoughts.
Is there something you've learned that you wish you knew earlier in your parenting journey?
I wished instead of communicating fairness among everyone, I communicated individual needs instead.
This would have helped when managing the different needs of the different ages.
Based on your experience as a BMSG counsellor, what is the most common problem faced by breastfeeding mums and do you have advice for them?
Most common problem is perceived low milk supply which I will usually advise mums to either increase their frequency of milk removal either through latching or pumping. The key is really to remove milk frequently as an emptier breast makes milk faster than a fuller one. Latching actually provides better hormonal response to milk production versus a pump because holding baby close to us elicits a higher production of oxytocin (love and bonding hormone). That is why skin to skin is so important right after delivery.
Another problem is when mums want to latch exclusively but are afraid that the baby is not getting enough because we are not able to quantify the amount that baby is drinking. This is a real concern and the solution is actually very easy. What goes in must come out––the best way to assess milk intake is through wet and poopy diapers.
Can you share some tips for mummies who are looking to breastfeed twins or triplets?
Twins and triplets have a higher chance of being born preterm and via C-section. This naturally causes a delay in milk production. It is crucial for mums to remember to hand express frequently (about every hour) in the first few days. The colostrum can then be stored in syringes. If the newborn twin or triplet babies are unable to latch directly, they can be syringe or spoon fed the colostrum that was expressed. Expressed colostrum can also be given after a nursing session. The milk demands for mums with twins and triplets is also higher compared with singleton hence it will be a good idea for mums to also add on pumping to stimulate milk production. It is best to work with an IBCLC who can help support along the way.
Do you have any advice for mothers who wish to breastfeed both their newborn and an older child?
Firstly, pregnant mothers who intend to nurse both their newborn and toddler should give their older child notice way in advance that their milk is going to be shared with a baby.
This gives the older child time to get used to the idea first as nursing toddlers can be quite possessive over their comfort source. Think of sharing your chou chou (comfort pillow) with someone else.
It is also essential to let the newborn nurse and have the full feed first before breastfeeding the older sibling. Communicate this to the older child in advance and help him or her understand that the baby can be full on milk while he can get his tummy filled with his favourite foods.
Any final words for other mums with lots of little ones?
I think there are many mums out there with many little ones with lots more experience than me and I may not be in a position to give them advice. I guess as mums of many children, we have to recognise that each child is rightfully different in their own way. Even with the same number of children at the same ages, the dynamics within each family unit can vary significantly. I would like to affirm all mums are definitely super mums in their own way!
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3 quick-fire questions:
My favourite breastfeeding position is… sidelying!
My most recommended breastfeeding product is… Feeding Friend Nursing Pillow.
My personal milk booster recomendation is… Yummies4mummies Chocgranola.
Disclaimer: Mayvina is the founder of local lactation product line Yummies4mummies and distributor of Feeding Friend Nursing Pillow. Our team at Multiples Matter was not aware of this prior to the interview. She has generously agreed to conduct a giveaway for the Feeding Friend Nursing Pillow. Keep a lookout on our Instagram for the upcoming giveaway!
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Huge thanks to Mayvina for taking time to share so much with us as she juggles motherhood, work and exams. We hope that her sharing encourages and benefits other breastfeeding mummies in the community.
Do you have any breastfeeding related question? Wish to be featured or have any tips to share with our community? Drop us a note here!
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