Welcome to our interview with Serene, a 54 year-old supermom from Singapore raising seven children whom she homeschools!
With her wealth of parenting experience, Serene shares insights and her thoughts about having a large family with seven children (2 boys and 5 girls!) ranging from 15 to 26 years old. Get ready to be inspired!
How would you describe the joys and rewards of having a large family?
It is a full life indeed, in all ways. Full of emotions (positive & negative), and full of challenges!
Have you always wanted many children? Please share with us how you and your husband approached family building.
Not at all. I started not wanting to have any children. In fact, it’s one of my 4 nevers.
I used to say I would never be a Christian, never get married, never have children and never be a stay-at-home-wife.
It’s been quite a journey but in a nutshell, we’re Christians and so we were convicted to just trust God in planning for our family size and even the spacing out of the children.
Can you share some positive experiences or memorable moments that highlight the advantages of having multiple children?
They entertain each other which frees me up to do what’s needed around the house when they’re little.
Now I see them being good friends and it’s heartwarming. That they can come home and then start pouring out their joys and woes of the day especially once they start university life and/or working.
What was the most challenging phase for you?
Going from 4 to 5 kids was hard because we ran out of hands to grab them when out! We'd shifted house immediately after birthing number 5. So it was challenging to manage 5 children aged 6 and under!
Also, negotiating their transition from childhood to adult is “character building” as a friend likes to describe it 🤣
With seven children, each must have a unique personality. How do you celebrate and nurture the individuality of each child within the family?
Indeed they are very different from each other as it should be since they’re all unique persons. We don’t overthink this. Just accept them as they are and I learn to deal with their quirks as and when it pops up.
Homeschooling seven children is undoubtedly a significant undertaking, and a path that's not common in Singapore. What motivated you to choose homeschooling, and how has the experience been for you and your family?
We were led to homeschool by my oldest child’s Montessori school’s principal. She felt that being academically strong at his age he’d probably be very bored in our very structured primary school system in Singapore. So she strongly encouraged us to look into it. We prayed about it and it became clear that this is what we needed to do.
Like any educational path one chooses there are always pros and cons. Some days are difficult and I’d regret homeschooling. Some days are just great and I’m so glad to be homeschooling.
Generally, it has been good and I don’t regret choosing this path. But it has been demanding since our local system rewards those who adhere to the government's policies. Yet, through it, I see the providence of God.
As a mother of seven, what core parenting principles guide your approach to raising your children?
Just do the best with the available resources (physical/emotional/financial) we have and work with them instead of worrying or grumbling about the situation. Because of our faith, we live from this principle: If the Lord has given, He will provide! We just need to be wise in the stewardship of the lives given to us.
With regards to parenting, what are some things you wish you could do better in?
I wish I had spent more intentional time with them.
As I’d no helper, a lot of time and energy was spent keeping the house clean and organised, as well as keeping up with homeschooling requirements.
There was always something to do. I wish I had just decided on a hard stop on household and even homeschooling stuff. Just to BE with the children. Maybe go for more holidays too! Now that they are all grown up, their schedules are so packed we seldom get the whole family together.
Are there specific goals or aspirations you have for your family's future?
Love God. Love family. Be useful and productive people.
Could you share with us a rough schedule of what a regular day for you is like?
When the kids were younger: Wake up ➡️ breakfast ➡️ school ➡️ lunch ➡️ housework ➡️ grade schoolwork ➡️ dinner prep + dinner ➡️ free
Now that I only homeschool 2: Wake up ➡️ breakfast ➡️ work on projects ➡️ lunch ➡️ housework ➡️ check schoolwork ➡️ dinner prep + dinner ➡️ free
Do you have any advice for other parents who wish to have a large family or are currently building one?
1. Set up systems. Even if you have help. Because help will not always be there.
2. Teach independence as early as possible.
3. Be willing to change.
4. Stay humble.
Children are a joy and a blessing from God. But they will push all our buttons since they live with us and see us in all our weaknesses and grumpiness.
Seeing it in a positive light, they help us change for the better IF we are teachable and humble.
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Serene is the wife of Henson Lim, founder of Archippus Awakening. She is a stay-at-home-homeschooling mother of 7 children this side of heaven. She used to say she would never be a Christian, never get married, never have children and never be a stay-at-home-wife. But God has a great sense of humour. You can find out more over at her blog Building Up Moms where she shares not only practical how-tos of running a house, homeschooling and raising her children as well as encouraging Christian mothers to see motherhood as a ministry unto the Lord. In her free time (haha!) she reads all kinds of books, fiction & non-fiction.
Thank you for generously sharing your story with us, Serene! We are sure it benefits and encourages many other parents who may be exploring the unconventional path of homeschooling or having many, many children.
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